just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
