Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
there's paper in my vomit.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
