Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
