I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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