I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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