I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
