hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
