I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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