I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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