And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
