What did we do last night that was yellow?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
how drunk are you?
Several
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
