the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
