I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
