is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
