Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
