What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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