I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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