Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.

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(917): View more from New York City

you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.

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(712): View more from Iowa

Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.

(714): View more from California

Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."

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(626): View more from California

she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo

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(+32): View more from Belgium

this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.

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(626): View more from California

I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner

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(248): View more from Michigan

i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.

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(239): View more from Florida

It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!

Fav 0 58 8
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