I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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