I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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