Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
