I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We're too hungover to prance.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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