Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
