somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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