I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
false alarm, still single
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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