The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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