the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
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