I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
