He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Two words: blizzard sex
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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