so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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