from now on my penis is your penis
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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