i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
