the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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