she was so not down for the gang bang
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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