I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize