Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
