Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
