Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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