so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
