Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Houston, we have a squirter
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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