is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
