I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
How drunk are you?
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