Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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