the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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