You really coming over, don't trick.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
