So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
