She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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