Someone shit on the floor
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Success! We fucked roommates!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
