I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize