She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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