Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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