one two three fourrrrnication!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
