I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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