Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize