I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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