Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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