Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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