If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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