Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
