What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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