I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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