I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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