i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
