pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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