if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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