I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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