Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
