I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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