hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize