Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
