Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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