ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
