Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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