it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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