Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
