billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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