Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
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