i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
