i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
