Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
